This is not as bad as it looks.
Okay, it’s almost as bad, but there is one tiny silver lining that you may not pick up on right away— I’m wearing my very best socks. On any other day that a red cap decided to steal my boots, I’d be chasing after him in dirty socks with holes in the toes.
But on this day, I had my clean socks on.
What are red caps, you ask? Well, as an example I’ll point out that little beastie wearing my boots. Just know this—red caps are a pain.
And who am I? Ben Beederman’s the name. Sorry, I figured you might’ve already read volume one of my magnum opus Strange Scout Tales: How to Merit in Monsters. But if you haven’t read it yet, don’t worry—I’ll try to fill you in as we go.
Anyway, back to red caps. To understand those little beasties, you’ll need to understand what it means to be a Strange Scout. No, I don’t mean like weirdo strange, I mean like unique, mysterious, and, yes, sometimes monstrous. But only in the very best sense of the word!
Because to be a Strange Scout is to believe this one important truth— monsters are cool! (Okay, red caps may be the exception.)
When my parents sent me off to Camp Spirit, they thought I’d be learning about nature and honor and all that traditional scout stuff—which I did. But they didn’t know I’d also be recruited into a top-secret branch of the scouts called the Strange Scouts. See, the Strange Scouts have been around since the days of President Teddy Roosevelt, and for all that time they’ve been protecting one of the earth’s most valuable natural wonders: monsters. This old guy, Walter, is my Scout Master, and those other yahoos in the picture with me—Ginger, Asma, and Manuel—are my troop mates and my best friends.
We are Troop D . . . D for danger!
What? D for dweeb? Wait a minute, you did read the first book, didn’t you?!
Whatever.
The point is that we went to this lame-sounding camp and saved a Bigfoot named Eugene from drinking from a poisoned water supply, and so we became awesome Strange Scouts and we can call ourselves Troop Danger now if we want to. So there.
Whew. Really, none of that has anything to do with the story I need to tell you, of which those red caps are only one part. It’s really a story about a haunted lighthouse on the shore of Scotland’s Loch Ness, super gross Scottish food, and yes . . . the Loch Ness Monster! It was the adventure of a lifetime in a faraway land where our powers of teamwork and resourcefulness were put to the test!
Of course, we’re Troop D, which means it went about as well as you’d expect. So, let’s back up a bit before we get to the red caps, Scotland, and Loch Ness.
Because this story begins with a field trip.

Earning our Teamwork Badges was supposed to be a—what do you call it?—a formality. See, Walter had planned this big overseas trip to Scotland for us to see the famous Loch Ness. Did you know that a “loch” is just what they call a lake in Scotland? Cool, right? I’m actually hoping it’ll catch on everywhere.
It may not be exactly common for scouts to travel overseas, but the Strange Scouts are anything but common. And Walter insisted that seeing Loch Ness was an important step in understanding what it was to be a Strange Scout. In many ways, Loch Ness represented what the scouts were all about. Here was a mysterious place, shrouded in legend, protecting what might very well be the oldest living monster in the world—the Loch Ness Monster!
It was a trip meant to educate us and instill a sense of wonder about the hidden world of nature.
Yeah, whatever. I was all about the haggis.
Have you heard of haggis? Google it. I’ll wait.
See? How many opportunities do you get in life to actually dare your friends to eat a sheep’s stomach stuffed with . . . stuff? It’s seriously all I thought about for weeks before the trip. I literally dreamed about it.
So the plan was:
1. Go to Scotland and find a haggis.
2. Dare one of my friends to eat the haggis.
3. Be crowned the coolest kid who ever lived.
Foolproof, right?
I was so ready for this trip. On to Scotland!